Getting the "Seven" from Maddie (something she does, kind of like the "Talk to the hand" thing). Did you notice that she is wearing panties? Did you notice that she put them on on the outside of her britches? The best part is that I'd told her that we had to go pick up some groceries and she went to 'get ready'. She came running to the front door, with her underwear on the wrong side and said, "I'm ready to go to the store!" Not so fast, WonderWoman...
Our bi-weekly indulgence: pancake breakfast after my doctor visit. She was thoroughly enjoying her hot chocolate! We sometimes go to Cracker Barrel (yum!), but found out that Denny's has a value menu so we can split 2 pancakes, eggs, hash browns, and some biscuits and gravy for $9, including her hot chocolate and my almost-two-dollar coffee. I'm drooling on my keyboard!
With her very first, very own sticker book! She loves it...and I no longer have to scrape Elmo stickers from the TV screen. So, if anyone ever wonders what to get her, stickers are a great idea!
Looking ragged at 35 weeks.
Oh, how I'd love to sleep. Between Maddie and being ridiculously pregnant, sleep has become a luxury.
***
Maddie has been awful to try to get to bed lately and, once we finally get her settled in, she wakes a few hours later screaming for me. In a normal person's world, it wouldn't be too big of a deal. In our crazy world, however...I could probably count on my hands the number of times she's slept through the night by herself since she was born. I could count the number of times she's slept soundly without fussing at least 10 times through the night on one hand. I try to be firm, but my resolve is only so strong while she's in there, crying her little eyes out just wanting for mommy to come get her. And she's become so accustomed to me coming to the rescue, that when I finally go in, she's sitting all alone crying in her tiny bed, clutching her froggie, just waiting for me. So now when she's in there calling, "Mommy!" and crying, I just imagine how it is to be 2 1/2 and scared of the dark, clutching my froggie and waiting for mommy...but she never comes. Oh, it breaks my heart. Then there's the worry wart in me that has to go check on her to make sure she doesn't need to be changed or to feel her little head to make sure she isn't running a fever. In my mind, I imagine her getting a UTI from sitting in a poopy diaper. Or having a febrile seizure because I didn't go check to see if she was too warm. I know it doesn't make sense to most of you. I think a lot of it is guilt I carry still from when she was little and had that infection. The mom in me says I should have known. Maybe a part of me did, but I assumed that the doctors knew what they were talking about when they said it was colic. My tiny baby suffered for those months and I should have known. There are photos and videos of her looking so miserable that I can't bear to look at now. They make my stomach ache. I'm a crying mess as I write this. So, yeah, there's much behind why I do the things I do when it comes to her.
Maddie has been awful to try to get to bed lately and, once we finally get her settled in, she wakes a few hours later screaming for me. In a normal person's world, it wouldn't be too big of a deal. In our crazy world, however...I could probably count on my hands the number of times she's slept through the night by herself since she was born. I could count the number of times she's slept soundly without fussing at least 10 times through the night on one hand. I try to be firm, but my resolve is only so strong while she's in there, crying her little eyes out just wanting for mommy to come get her. And she's become so accustomed to me coming to the rescue, that when I finally go in, she's sitting all alone crying in her tiny bed, clutching her froggie, just waiting for me. So now when she's in there calling, "Mommy!" and crying, I just imagine how it is to be 2 1/2 and scared of the dark, clutching my froggie and waiting for mommy...but she never comes. Oh, it breaks my heart. Then there's the worry wart in me that has to go check on her to make sure she doesn't need to be changed or to feel her little head to make sure she isn't running a fever. In my mind, I imagine her getting a UTI from sitting in a poopy diaper. Or having a febrile seizure because I didn't go check to see if she was too warm. I know it doesn't make sense to most of you. I think a lot of it is guilt I carry still from when she was little and had that infection. The mom in me says I should have known. Maybe a part of me did, but I assumed that the doctors knew what they were talking about when they said it was colic. My tiny baby suffered for those months and I should have known. There are photos and videos of her looking so miserable that I can't bear to look at now. They make my stomach ache. I'm a crying mess as I write this. So, yeah, there's much behind why I do the things I do when it comes to her.
***
Anyhow, once she's in bed with me and I finally get her settled down and sleeping ~ I have to get up to pee. Then when I lay down, I can't get comfortable. Then my hip starts to ache, my leg starts to fall asleep, so I roll over. Then, I have to get up and pee all over again from moving around so much! Once I can finally relax and think to myself, 'Ok, I think I might be able to get some rest now', Calum wakes up and I lay there and feel him move. And I pat my tummy, forgetting about sleep. I run my fingers over where he's busy playing and feel so much love that sleep ceases to matter. Then I stroke Maddie's soft little cheek and whisper to her in her sleep that I love her infinitely, eternally. Morning comes and Maddie wakes me with a kiss and curls up to cuddle. And asks to go downstairs for hot chocolate. Our voices wake Calum, so it's the three of us being silly together. As exhausted as I am, I try so hard to keep a good attitude about it because these babies won't be babies forever. God help me, I even miss her on those rare occasions that she doesn't sleep with me, waking me with cuddles and kisses. Soon enough she'll be a big kid and sleep in her own bed. And Calum will sleep through the night before I know it. I remember when I was pregnant with Maddie, everyone told me that she'd be up to feed all the time and I'd be so tired. And I was. But it goes by so fast. Those first few months where you're running on nothing but instinct and love (and coffee), they just speed by. And then they're gone forever...
***
All that stuff aside, I feel good. My check up with Dr. Le was this morning and I'm measuring perfect, Calum's heart rate was perfect, and I'm fat. Dr. Le noticed that I'm starting to swell, but I'm counting the days until I can diet and exercise. He mashed around my belly and said that he thinks our Little Man is at least 7lbs right now. He instructed me to have my last Aspirin dose the Sunday before surgery, but with the Braxton-Hicks I've been having, he wouldn't be surprised if I go into labor sooner. I wish he would check me, but he didn't. He just said that if I do go into labor at this point they wouldn't try to stop it, they'd just do my c-section at that time. Boy, am I ready. Still about 3 1/2 weeks to go! Or is it Only about 3 1/2 weeks to go?
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