Second Time Around

It's funny to me that I thought, being our second time around with this, that I would be more relaxed. Me, the worry wart, borderline paranoid. Pregnancy brings such worry. Even with all the tests, all the doctor visits, all the ultrasounds, the worry about your precious unborn child is immense. Of course it never goes away; my whole life, I will always worry about my babies. But when you're growing them inside you, you have no control of what happens to them. Like when we found out about Maddie's little kidney, it was such a helpless feeling; here we were, her mommy and daddy, our duty being to protect her ~ and we were completely powerless to make it all better. The whole nine months is just wait...and worry...and wait and worry some more.

In the interim, there are only a handful of things to take your mind off of it all. Hearing that heart beat for the first time. Seeing the rascal on an ultrasound. Feeling them move. Finding out whether your tiny cargo has a hot dog or a hamburger. Picking names. Preparing the nursery. Getting supplies stocked up...six or seven little things to ease your mind in 40 weeks seems like a big, fat gip, but you do your best to make it exciting.

I am almost 17 wks and I have most of these things done, at least partially. Our furniture should be ready for pick up on Friday. John has the next two weeks off, so we'll take advantage of that and get the nursery painted. I've got the last four bundles of clothes coming this week. Target.com has our baby registry completed. Next month I'll be scheduled for a c-section, so I'll know when this little guys birthday will be. By the end of January, I guess I'll have everything finished and then it's just time to wait for him to get here. No Lamaze classes, no infant care classes; nothing to help pass the time. See, only part of getting things ready so early is because of impatience. Mostly it's a way to beat back the worry for at least a moment. It's a way for me to make this pregnancy special ~ the way that Maddie's 9 months was special ~ when everything seems so routine. I know that everyone thinks I'm silly for doing the things I'm doing so soon when we have so much time left to wait. Well, that's my explanation folks. It's not about finding great sales or good deals...it's about making this fun when all I want to do is worry.

xoxo

Goodbye Storkcraft...

We got our nursery furniture ordered today!

After receiving our "replacement part" after the crib recall, we decided to go ahead and get a new set. What I thought would be a crib-front to make it stationary turned out to be tiny, 2" plastic pieces that you clip onto the slide rail! Attention, dear Storkcraft: TWICE, my crib has been recalled for faulty PLASTIC parts that are breaking and putting our baby in danger. TWICE, you have sent me PLASTIC replacement parts that supposedly fix the problem. This time the part is red (yes, RED), so now my crib is not only potentially a hazard, but also an eye sore. Apparently your bottom line is more important than our kids...we will never buy your brand again.

Anyway, our crib and dresser/changer combo should be here next week. They have a beautiful matching hutch for $299.99 that I want to buy, but it'll have to wait until later.

Firsts

Maddie's first candy cane! She really enjoyed it. ~ Who wouldn't?! ~ it's from the Jelly Belly collection and is the flavor of blueberry jellybeans!

Mommy's first shipment of little boy clothes!

I also spoke with Dr. Gei's office and am (finally!) scheduled for my big ultrasound on January 11th. A whole rotten, stinkin' month away. Thankfully, I have Christmas and birthdays to keep me occupied for a bit :) We took Maddie around to look at the neighborhood Christmas lights the other night (carrying on that Payne tradition) and she really got a kick out of it! I think her favorites were the candy cane lights and the giant blow up Santas and Snowmen. She also wants to wear her dress shoes all the time and can even put them on by herself ~ on the RIGHT feet even! They have evolved from plain old "Princess shoes" to "Snow White Princess" shoes. I can hardly wait until she sees her new princess "big girl" bedroom. Hopefully she'll like it enough that she'll finally start sleeping in her own bed all night long. Well, I can dream, can't I??

Maddie fun:

[Sipping her lemonade and making a face]

"It's sour, mommy...but it sure is tasty!"

***

Maddie: "Where's daddy's mustache?"

Me: "On his face, baby."

Maddie: "Mustache face at work?"

Me: "Yep, daddy's face and mustache are with daddy at work."

Some Fun (and Some Not-So Fun)

Getting ready to have her picture taken with Santa, Maddie danced around in her "Princess Shoes" (black patent leathers). She really likes them!

Hanging out with the Big Guy! She loved him and even walked around Santa's little area at the mall while he pointed out the reindeer and snowman. She wouldn't stop pointing at Rudolph, so all of the photos have her pointing :)

A few weeks ago, Maddie and I mailed her Christmas list to Santa. This morning, she got a letter back! She still too young, of course, to really appreciate this but I think she'll really

enjoy it in the years to come.

What a great group of people those folks at the North Pole, AK post office are.

And this is my 16wk belly (well, 15wks 6days...close enough!)

Yesterday afternoon, I started having some pretty intense pain in my lower abdomen that would begin as a stabbing pain and change to a really bad cramp. They were happening every 30 minutes and uncomfortable enough that I called the on-call obstetrician. He directed me to the ER, where I sat for about three hours last night. After ruling out a urinary infection, they sent me for an ultrasound, where the lady proceeded to scan me without saying a word ~ making me really nervous. Suddenly, she gasped, "Oh baby, sit STILL!" Turns out he was moving and kicking so much that she was having a really hard time getting her measurements. She confirmed that we've got a definite baby BOY in here (even showed me his 'parts'), but most importantly, everything looked great. He is measuring 16wks 1 day, my cervix was closed, and they let me know that my placenta has moved away from my cervix so I don't have to worry about a previa anymore (thank God). The ER doctor thinks it may have just been pain from hauling Maddie around (the girl weighs a little over 35lbs, after all) or maybe that the area near my c-section scar is stretching and causing the discomfort. It started out to be a pretty scary visit, but ended up great.

In other news, I got Maddie's birthday supplies ordered and they shipped today. She is a Wow Wow Wubbzy fanatic, so we're doing a Wubbzy theme. She is really enjoying all the Christmas commotion and can even sing Jingle Bells. She also expressed her first "I want it" after seeing a toy commercial for a Strawberry Shortcake play set. Ahhh, it has begun. She is growing up so fast, guys. She has a wonderful vocabulary and uses sentences; her words are clear and she remembers the names of everything (like carbon monoxide detector. She used to just call it "Beeeep", but now she says "Carbon monoxide detector"). She is also starting to understand that mommy has a baby in her tummy (well, as much as a 2yr old can understand the concept of a person growing inside of another person). She says, "Baby in mommy's tummy, Maddie's baby [to] play wiff". We won quite a bit of boy clothing on ebay (oh, do I have a love-hate relationship with ebay y'all!). $40 for about 105 pieces of clothing (and another $50 for shipping ~ ouch!). Almost everything is brand new with tags. With Maddie, we spent about $200 every other month on clothes - or more - so I am really excited to have found such cute things for a great price. We got all kinds of stuff from 0-9 months, so I'm hoping it'll hold us over for the next year. I don't think there were too many newborn items, so we still need those. So much fun! We also got an email about the crib recall, stating that Stork Craft is sending a replacement part to fix the problem (as in, they're sending us a whole new side of the crib to make it non-dropside). So, no new crib to hunt for. The nice thing is that a. we won't have to spend any money on new furniture (except for a dresser for Maddie) and b. the nursery will get set up pretty much as soon as Maddie gets all of her Big Girl Room things together. Fun, fun, fun!!!

Snow Day ~ Take Two

Hot Chocolate Time!

'Tis the Season!

(Better pictures of making snow art)

Helping daddy hang up the Christmas lights

Dressing herself this morning in mommy's hat & shoes to go check out the snow!

Snow!

"It's sooo cold."

Having so much fun!

Early December (14wks 6days)

Daddy just felt the baby move! I ate a little dinner and baby was kicking and squirming in there. I thought I could feel it ever so faintly on the tips of my fingers but maybe it was my imagination, so I asked him to put his hand on that spot and ~ sure enough ~ he said he felt it, too. So exciting!!

***

In other news, poor Maddie hurt her little ankle today. She tripped and twisted it I guess, but it isn't swolloen or bruised and she only complains when she has to stand on it. Otherwise, she's doing great. She's getting excited for Christmas and loves to look at all the different decorations. She has also been excited for holiday goodies. This was our conversation at the dinner table this evening:

Me: "Maddie, do you want a spoon?"

Maddie: "A spoon. Or a fork. Or a cookie."

***

Cozying up with mommy's maternity pillow (a God-send).

Making a face at me after she KICKED ME OFF of my own pillow! She said she was a birdie in a bird's nest.

I started the crib blanket since I can't find anything that I like in stores or on line. These are just my roughly cut 8.5x8.5's laid out in my pattern.

...and this is my first few rows sewn together (well, the bottom row is pinned on)! It actually looks pretty nice :) It's amazing what a difference just taking your time can make.